Category Archives: Funhouse

Sunday Funday Has Returned

Sunday Funday has returned!  We took a hiatus from these series of posts because quite frankly it is hard to find people having fun with SQL Server these days.  Let’s have some fun!

Today I bring you a maze game written in SQL, enjoy Lionel Clarke : A Sql Game.

Wake Up, Geek Culture. Time to Die from Wired.com

While thinking about my third installment for What Makes a Geek, I was reading an article on the launch of the ‘Novo Geek‘ that referenced the following article: Wake Up, Geek Culture. Time to Die | Wired.com written by Patton Oswalt. What a flashback down memory lane, the article was and what an insightful analysis of our culture today. This is a must read if you are self-proclaimed geek as well as tried and true geek. Let me know what you think? Should our culture die in order to preserve the geek ideals? Something to ponder for sure! Enjoy!

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What Makes a Geek? Part Two

  • It’s Only a Flesh Wound

Recently, several members of the #SQLFamily were discussing various aspects of geekdom.  We came to a consensus:  there are many among us who are self-proclaimed geeks who are only geeks because of the coolness factor.  This is the second part of our journey revolves around movies.  There will probably be a great amount of debate, but I think these movies are essential to the core of what makes a geek.  This is not a comprehensive list because there are tons of obscure titles that geeks turns into cult classics and there are many geek books that were ruined by main stream movie versions.

  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail – Every geek can quote Monty Python with such memorable phrases as “It’s only a flesh wound” and “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” followed by “An African or European swallow?”.
  • Star Wars: A New Hope – This goes without explanation
  • Hackers and/or Sneakers – what geek would be complete without a movie espousing the virtues of being 1337?
  • War Games – Matthew Broderick was the geek I wanted to be in this and Ferris Bueller.  I had played around with a lot of the technology he was using so to see him hacking into the government to play games made him our hero.
  • Office Space – Stuck in your cubicle?  Have eight bosses?  Facing outsourcing or a case of the mondays?
  • Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn – There are other Star Trek movies, but not many compare to this one.
  • The Matrix – “Why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill?”
  • Blade Runner and/or Tron – We are suckers for a good space film, are you seeing a pattern here yet?
  • The Princess Bride – “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” followed by “Stop saying that!”
  • 2001: A Space Oddysey – “Open the pod bay doors, HAL” followed by “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that”

I know there are many more excellent geek movies, however this is a list of baseline movies.  While compiling this list, I thought of thirty more such as Alien and Pi, but I had to stop somewhere.  Every geek should know these movies, end of story.  “Share and Enjoy!”

What Makes a Geek? Part One

HHGG

Recently, several members of the #SQLFamily were discussing various aspects of geekdom.  We came to a consensus:  there are many among us who are self-proclaimed geeks who are only geeks because of the coolness factor.  Personally I decided to post a series of blog posts that espouse a minimum set of experiences that make up the persona of a true geek.  Granted there are many variations, but true geeks all have  a baseline set of experiences that I believe unite us all.  In other words, we all share a common set of core values that made us into the uber geeks that you see before you today.

The first installment of What Makes a Geek will be books.  Books shape a persons thoughts and personality from a young age.  This list is not comprehensive but like I mentioned earlier, it is a baseline.

  • Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (aka H2G2 or HHGG) – Every geek should know Forty-Two, DON’T PANIC, and knowing where one’s towel is.
  • The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbitt by J.R.R. Tolkien (aka LOTR) – This one might fall of the list thanks to the popularity of the movies, but was a standard for years as evidenced by how many guys named themselves Gandalf and Frodo in chat rooms and online gaming environments.
  • Neuromancer by William Gibson – bonus points are given if you played the video game released in the late 80s (I had it on a 5 1/4″ floppy)
  • Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein – All books by Heinlein are awesome, but this is the definitive geek book.
  • Anything from Isaac Asimov – I used to always say I, Robot, but the movie ruined that for me.  Every child should read Asimov, end of story.
  • Any and/or all of the Star Wars and/or Star Trek novels – Geeks have strong opinions about these two universes and I am no different, however out of deference to my friends I will begrudgingly include Star Trek in the list.  This does not include the silly movie books, this is the full universe of novels which for Star Wars has over 100 currently.  My point is that watching the movies does not a geek make!

I know there are many more excellent geek books, however this is a list of baseline books.  Every geek should know these things, end of story.  “Share and Enjoy!”

Sunday Funday

Today has not been much fun for me as I’ve been working on a deployment all weekend for our enterprise content management system. This deployment was necessary for two reasons: we have a deadline and I will be busy for the rest of the weekends in May.

However I did miss sending my girls off to their high school prom, but it was unavoidable and it is the sacrifice I had to make. Instead this weekend I am living vicariously through my #SQLFamily and my physical family through Facebook and Twitter.

I hope you are enjoying a wonderful weekend. If not go out and have some fun, it’s not too late to spend some time with those you love. Enjoy!

Interview with the Resource Database

Recently I had a chance to catch up with the Resource Database, which is rare given his reclusive ways as of late.  Today, I bring you the answers you demand.

Me: So mssqlsystemresource, can I call you Resource Database?

RD: Sure, just keep in mind I won’t return your queries.

Me:  So Resource Database, what have you been doing with yourself lately?  Where have you been?  What have you been up to?

RD: Oh, just hanging out behind the scenes.  I don’t like the limelight, I leave that to my friend, TempDB.  Most administrators don’t even know I exist and I like it that way.

Me: Shouldn’t administrators know about you?

RD: NOOOOO!  Next thing you know they will want to query me for data, try to change my settings, and next thing you know they will corrupt me!  I’m not having that.  This is all off the record, right?

Me: Ah, sure.  So what secrets are you hiding?

RD: I mostly work by keeping all the secrets of the system objects, you know sys.objects, I keep all of that stored and sealed up.

Me:  Wait a minute?  We see those in the sys schema of every database.  What gives?

RD: Logically you are correct but physically you are incorrect.  They are mine.  How else do you think you can upgrade SQL Server?  By letting everyone mess with those objects?  I don’t think so!  This interview is over!  I’m outta here!

Me:  Well there you have it folks.  The mysterious Resource Database remains mysterious.  Enjoy!

 

Change of Plans

After long consideration, I have decided to change my career path.  After several meetings with out Oracle team, I have decided that their product is much more robust and the career possibilities are endless.  It also appears that their product is much easier to use and requires very little work so that I may sit in my cubicle playing angry birds or plumber crack all day long.  This is the career path for me.  Enjoy!

Sunday Funday

Sunday is a great day for SQL funday, so every Sunday I will post some fun, SQL related links for your enjoyment….

Today’s installment involves the Prime Number Challenge!  This is a clever and fun T-SQL script, so check it out!

Enjoy this #SQLAwesomeness!

Sunday Funday

Sunday is a great day for SQL funday, so every Sunday I will post some fun, SQL related links for your enjoyment….

Today’s installment is from one of the funniest technical presentations that I have ever seen.  If you get a chance to see it at a SQL Saturday or Code Camp near you, by all means attend.  It is by Rob Volk (blog | twitter) and it is called Revenge: The SQL! 

Enjoy this #SQLAwesomeness!

Sunday Funday

Sunday is a great day for SQL funday, so every Sunday I will post some fun, SQL related links for your enjoyment….

Today’s installment is Solving Soduku with SQL!  This is a clever and fun T-SQL script, so check it out!

Enjoy this #SQLAwesomeness!

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